Thursday, April 22, 2010

us and them

I think we would all agree that we have come so far in America, but depending on the area you live that will determine the popular attitude towards being a working woman, stay at home wife, or both. According the Jordan Dee's, she grew up in an area of Texas in which most women were housewives, and those who worked were looked down upon. In Northern Virginia, I would argue it's the reverse.

There is also the category of women like my Mom ( __ years old today! Happy Birthday Mom!) who did not have the choice to stay at home, she had to work to make ends meet. But that did not mean she outsourced her duties as a wife and mother. She gave her all to her family regardless of how tired she was. I learned so much from her, and I respect her so much. She went back to school for her bachelors degree, pregnant with her sixth child, and oh-yeah with pneumonia. But that didn't stop her, she earned her degree. Recently she spent the past two years in grad-school getting her Masters in HR at the age of 45. Yes, ladies and gents my Mother is super-woman. She, and all the woman in my family, have been models of what woman's liberation was all about! They have been single mothers, nurses, teachers, personal trainers, administrators! You name it they have done it to provide for their families without playing the victim. I am from a family of resilient and brilliant women, who encourage one another in the choices each woman has to make for her family.

I want to repeat this blog isn't about "us and them", though it is an interesting topic of discussion, and that attitude does exist. It is an attitude that should be brought to light and shamed. I am guilty of judging women for their choices just as much as they judge me, and thanks to some insight from my wise Aunt.Katie, that attitude has been extinguished and I want to change just as much as I want others to change in that way of thinking!

I want to use this blog to continue to talk about these differences, and the consequences of our choices, but mostly I want to use this as an exploration and education tool for myself. Truth is there is a lot that was LOST in being a housewife, and being feminine. Being a housewife isn't just about the latest gossip or spending four hours in the gym, or wearing dresses and pearls all the time. When you are a housewife, it IS A JOB! My Aunt.Katie puts it like this, you are the "Vice President of Operations" when you are a housewife. This is just as much a full-time job as your husbands job. Both men and women should view it as such. I have found that people who respect and agree with this, have either had a wonderful mother that stayed at home, or at least know some great examples. On the flip-side, people who have negative attitudes about this title have very bad experiences or none at all of what a housewife is.

When you are a housewife, you are answerable to your husband... go with me here. If he comes home at the end of the day and you are still in your robe, you haven't even bothered to shower that day, and you have spent the afternoon shopping online and watching soap-ops he has every right to be upset and say "What have you been doing all day!". In the same way you have every right to say to him "What have you been doing all day?" if your husband were to get up, get dressed, and go to work but the pay-checks stopped coming. In his job, he is contributing the the well-being of the family, and in your job as a housewife you are also contributing (even if it's not financially).


  1. Amen to that last part girl!

    - Mary Lynn

  2. What a blessing you are Ali-Cat! It touches me that you have a teachable spirit! I pray that we both always will! It is the learning from each other that helps us thrive!

    I would add that a woman who has chosen Homemaker as her only career and does not have a 2nd career (notice how I'm always driving home that point?) still contributes to her family financially in the way that she manages the household resources brought in by her husband. It is a HUGE responsibility to be a wise steward of the resources God blesses a family with whether they come in from 1 person or 2. I still get very excited when I prepare a meal for under $10 and it feeds us twice and sometimes 3 times! I love you! ~ Aunt Katie :o)