Friday, April 16, 2010

if you're bored it's because you're boring

Having a witty Mother was a major irritation, till I moved out and was able to witness her sarcasm from the outside looking in... then it was hilarious. I am now quite fond of her silly responses and sayings, and have memorized some of her famous motto's to repeat back to my children one day, when and if we are blessed with them. For example if any of my mother's six children ever complained "I'm bored", Mom would simply reply "There is no such thing as being bored, unless you are boring, and you are not boring!" So there it was, buck up! Make something of your free time, and be grateful you have it! Use your imagination! Have fun!

One of the most challenging aspects of being a stay-at-home wife today is the boredom factor combined with the loneliness factor. This seems incredibly strange given that sixty years ago housewives moved non-stop (it shows in their dress sizes). What has changed so much? Modern appliances? Our strange and almost eerie dependence on processed food that makes cooking "easy" and "fast"? The TV sucking hours away from our time till our brains feel like mush? General laziness? Well all of these could be to blame, but I beg to differ it is something far less severe or political.

The answer is... being intentional.
We have forgotten that we have to make the choice to keep a clean house, read to our children, have lunch with friends, make a fancy dinner, and be fit. This is not Bewitched or any other magical T.V. sitcom where dinner is automatically on time, the house is always clean, homework done, and the Mom is a size 2 with the wiggle of her nose! You have to be intentional with making use of your time, and fulfilling your role (which does not mean taking four hour naps in the middle of the day and making your kids do all the housework). Below are two ways to jump-start this...

1. Be intentional about having friends and maintaining long-distance friendships...
I learned this from a sweet friend of mine who just moved here, after I had been in Northern Virginia for over a year with no close friends. It is important that we go out of our way to schedule time with other women and call friends who we might have lost touch with. I have found, especially for the housewife without children or the Empty-Nester, this is an incredibly important lesson. My close friend and I make it a point to leave our house at least once a day, and to also make sure we are getting social interaction daily, with people besides young children and our husbands. Some of you may be laughing at this, but I will say that even when I was working full time, I was in a very isolated environment and very lonely. It is for your benefit to try as hard as you can, almost by trial and error, to have at least one or two close woman in your life that you can meet with on a weekly or even daily basis. This will help combat depression, and laziness!

Call a friend and ask,"What are you wearing today?"
Perfect example being intentional. ha-ha.

2. Be intentional about your schedule...
Have a "to-do" list and a set schedule for your week. Yes these are two different things. My daily "to-do" list includes: exercise, morning devotion, errands, chores, and other things specific to that day. My weekly schedule is different in that it is a SET schedule for specific days to do major household chores like laundry, moping the kitchen, scrubbing the bathroom down, and any other special projects. Make a list of all the special projects you would like to do from cleaning out the attic to finishing your wedding scrapbook. My husband and I also set a weekly date night, and I would highly encourage married couples to do this even if it's at home. Make an effort to disconnect from technology and spend time "eyeball to eyeball" during this time. The weekly schedule was a great suggestion I found via and it has been amazing for me not to feel pressure to clean the whole house in one day! It also makes making my daily to do list easier when because I already know what I have going on that day. This model is great also for working women, and I found it was the only way for me to truly stay on-top of keeping an orderly home while juggling full-time work and responsibilities.

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