Thursday, April 15, 2010

"a smart gal with a college degree"

Well I can't say I am surprised by the comment I received from my cousin Caitlin. I knew I would have to address this very comment at some point. So I want to respond to Caitlin's comment because I know it will be a common response to this blog, after all Caitlin is a beautiful, hard-working, hip twenty-something herself! Caitlin wrote:

" i love you to death and support everything to do but you're a smart gal with a college degree! you don't even want to have a career or anything since you paid for all that school? you always wanted to be involved in music, and i know as life change so does your desires and i know i can't relate to this housewife desire yet...but i don't know. i dont think i could let something i've spent my whole life waiting and studying for. thoughts?"

Let me start off by saying that this sort of comment always takes me back to the women's movement, a movement that was about giving women choices. Today it seems like there is only one choice: Career first, family second (if at all)... try to "have it all". Women who choose to be housewives are now looked down upon by women who choose to be professional full-time working women, and the banter goes back and forth. This isn't an "us" and "them" blog, but society has truly turned women against women. We should be encouraging one another and celebrating one another's choices, because this is really the essence of what being a women is and what the movement was for! Supporting your sisters whether they choose to be a CEO of a company, a teacher, or a wife and mother! Yes, I earned my college degree and I am glad I did! Education is incredibly important! Back in the "old days", and even before that, women had to educate themselves, but not to aspire to be greater than their male counterparts, but to enrich their own lives, the lives of their children, and be an influence on their husbands. Women today should not take this role of influence lightly. This blog was not created to convince all young women their only place is in the home, which was what women up until the 1960's were told (and I am not trying to awaken that lie again). This blog is to encourage and educate women (like myself) who have decided that their calling is in the home, while also addressing the social stigma that goes with being a housewife.

Second, having a college degree today does not equal having a career. When I graduated with my business degree I was surprised to learn that I was under-qualified for jobs I really wanted and would need to invest another $100,000 in a masters degree. The master's degree is the 80's Bachelor Degree. In terms of my music, I am still writing, still creating, still exploring! The business I went to study was far too corrupt and also in a major downturn because of the digital era. I don't need to live in Nashville or work for a publishing company to be a songwriter. In fact, now that I don't work, I get to play guitar and write everyday for hours at a time. It is wonderful. Art for the sake of art is a beautiful thing.


  1. i certainly am not saying that you shouldn't put family first. and lord knows i'd love to stay at home and tend to the house all day other than work (so i'm with you there!). but maybe it's just something i won't understand until i get there. of course there is nothing wrong with deciding to be a housewife. i just figure after all that time spent you'd want to do something with it. that's all. it seems a shame to waste. but you also make some good points so like i said, i guess i just won't actually fully understand unless this sort of thing happens to me. do whatever you want, girl. i'm not judging just curious as to what you think and sharing how i feel. i definitely don't think i would want to give up a career so soon. one day, of course. just not for me, not right now, ya know?

  2. and when i say waste, i don't mean you're wasting your life. i just mean...ya know all that money. hahaha just don't want you to think i'm trying to be rude! :D

  3. I just don't believe it's ever a waste of money to educate yourself. There are few people who actually work in the field of their degree, but their education as a whole gives opportunities they would not have had otherwise. Thanks for your comments! I totally understand where you are coming from too.

  4. Hey ali!

    You have known me for what 23 years now and I'm sure you know i side with you. It's really annoying when people ask me what do you want to do with my life and i answer: be a mom! They always look at me funny. I have always felt thats where God wants me and what i was created for. I've never been "the career girl" type. I just wish that society, esp the main stream media would celebrate women staying home. That's the hardest, most challenging job a woman can ever take on. I don't understand why it is so look down on. Nonetheless, i am extremely grateful for being able to graduate this coming May. I think what i learned the most through all the education is that i can do anything. I truly have a profound faith in myself that if i can pull through school then i can accomplish anything. I am also grateful that i be able to have that to fall back on incase we need the money. I will be working up until i have kids because i feel that they should have my full attention. I just wish the whole mom and wife role wasn't looked down upon so much. I feel like that's why society is so bad now. People have lost sight of what should be #1. Everyone is after more money, fame, etc. A career isn't everything and it can never fully complete you. So, hey, if a woman wants to be a stay at home wife/mom...MORE POWER TO HER. If she wants to be a working mom, then, hey go ahead! but i hope in the course of that she never neglects her #1 role which should always be wife and mother! After all if God entrusted us with that role, then it must hold some importance, right?

    Sorry if its confusing...I obviously have alot of thoughts about it!

    Jessica Jennings

  5. The next time someone asks you what you do PROUDLY reply, “I am the Vice President of Operations for Wear, Inc. [insert your own company name].

    After all you are running a business… a family business! And, as such you are in charge of, including BUT NOT LIMITED TO: Accounting Manager, Maintenance Director, Inventory Control Specialist, Calendar Management Expert, Food & Nutrition Director, Child care director (when the time comes), etc.

    If by choice or otherwise you find yourself working 2 full-time jobs the above still applies to you.

    Finally, I do believe that regardless of where you find yourself you may encounter someone that disagrees with your choice and feel judged by them. And they may, in fact, be judging you. It’s a natural progression to then assume everyone is in one camp or the other. I don’t believe that it is really the case. Try not to put us into one camp or the other. I think most of us really do try to Encourage, Support, Cheer, Mentor, and Love each other.

    Love, ~ Aunt Katie :o)

  6. Big- I believe in what you are doing. Art for the sake of art is beautiful and so are you! and so is your art! Please don't hesitate to share it here! If your words are having trouble being understood, I know your music will speak volumes! I hope one day I find myself in a place where I can create as inspired and not have to put it off til the shift ends or til I have enough free time to breathe and catch up with my life. I know you will still being managing quite a bit in your life, but what a blessing to go after what your heart is calling you to do. Since I have been in Los Angeles I have discovered more dreams and talents that I never knew I had. I know this is because my life became my own and wasn't consumed with pleasing everyone around me and the only commitments I had were the ones I truly made for myself. I'm so proud of you!