Thursday, June 17, 2010

"What, no kids?"

One of the most common questions I get asked by people when I tell them I am a housewife is "Oh, are you trying to have kids soon?" As if that is the only reason to be a stay at home wife. Though that is a major reason why most women leave the work force, I find it very interesting and almost expected if you are a stay at home wife.

First off, yes, one day my husband and I want to have children. We love kids, and most of our friends are already starting to add these joyous additions to their families! Second this is not a judgment about women who go from working straight to being a Mom with no break in between.

I think about it this way: I spent FOUR years studying business. FOUR years and thousands of dollars to learn, and prepare and train to go into the business world. FOUR years reading, writing papers, asking questions, interning and working to prepare for "the real world". Turns out I didn't like it as much as I thought I would. So instead I am going back to school. I am training on how to manage a household and learning about what it takes to be a parent before becoming a parent. Learning about myself, things I need to improve on before I bring another human being into the world. I honestly think people should invest more time in this. Being a parent and a spouse is a major, I repeat major, responsibility. I would argue marriage and parenthood are taken far too lightly in the United States. Divorce rates prove it. You can only read so many books and articles to learn about being married and being a good spouse, but it's applying it that counts. Managing a household isn't sitting around eating bon-bons all day. I am learning time management, how to prioritize and also how to invest in things that I enjoy doing now, so that when I do have little tykes running around I am not totally in shock and I know how to make time for the things I enjoy, and I know what those things are.

I have discovered a passion for cooking and I make time for it on a daily basis. I learn more and more each week, and it is one of my greatest joys. I am passionate about getting in better shape and learning new exercise techniques and also on how to cook more healthy. I am readying and studying everyday, trying new things, going out and seeing more of the community I live in. Hosting is one of my greatest pleasures, and I love to have people over for baby showers, bridal showers, and whatever I can find to celebrate. I am learning to be intentional with my time now, so that when I am a Mom I am already in the habit of doing so. To some of you this all might sound very silly, but from having friends who are new Mom's and are dealing with the joys and tribulations of having their first babies I have learned that it is important to have a life before having kids, so that when you have kids they don't become the center of your universe. Kid's aren't a replacement for a job. They are an addition to your life, not what your life should be centered around. I have learned from observation of women of many different ages, that is important to make time for friends, girls night out, socializing with adults, date night, one of one time with your husband and personal pampering and hobbies. Without these things Mom's can be overwhelmed very quickly.


  1. Glad to see I'm not alone. I'm a new housewife I guess. Looking for a job, but this could take a while. I'm currently searching blogs for housewives with no kids and there doesn't seem to be a lot of us. Glad I found you.

    1. About to enter this role as my husband is moving to a diff country for work and instead of staying in two different countries, I decided to move with him.

      Glad to have found this post an worried sick of being able to or not able to cope with this role and be judged

  2. Great post :)

  3. Love this post! I am a housewife(I am finally ok with saying that now!!) without kids and often get asked - what no kids or are you trying or the classic....shes preparing for a baby! Erm yes we will be in future but at the moment its just me. Love this post and your whole blog....really puts a smile on my face!